What I wish you understood.
You think I’m superficial,
you think I’m self centered, focused so much on being beautiful that I can’t see anything else.
You think this is just a ploy for attention.
Just something I’m doing to experiment.
You think I’m immature,
think I just need to grow up and start eating?
You think it just has to do with food, if only.
God, if i could just wake up one day and “get over it” don’t you think I would have done that already?
Don’t you think it gets tiring feeling like you’re going to faint because you don’t feel you deserve to eat.
Tiring to try to hide from the mirror, and let me tell you, you realize just how many mirrors there are in the world when you’re trying to avoid seeing that worthless reflection.
Do you really believe I beat myself and cut my thighs for attention? Do you think I try to hide and never go out because I want everyone to notice me?
Do you think I like begging my parents to let my starve myself to death.
I’m sick of being misunderstood.
I’m sick of hearing people make fun of me.
I’m sick of being asked why don’t you eat more or YOU BETTER EAT THIS CUPCAKE NOW.
I’m sick of being told I’m a twig.
I’m done with people telling me I’m a martyr. Trust me I’m not telling you this to make you feel sorry I’m telling you this because you have no clue what so many people around you are going through. I’m not alone. I’m one in a million, But i refuse to be silent.
I refuse to sit back and let people continue to not understand. My story is not unique, but it’s one of the most important stories of our time. It’s time I got heard. No more little pushover who just let’s people tell her how to feel.
It’s time I stopped wishing you understood anorexia and taught you a thing or two.